9 Sex Lessons From Emma Thompson’s ‘Leo Grande’
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande offers surprising lessons
Perhaps it’s a mix of self-consciousness about our own bodies, or the cis hetero male-directed sex scenes that (still) dominate the Hollywood narrative, but female pleasure is (still) almost always an after thought.
Studies show that while 91% of men reported that they had an orgasm in their most recent sexual encounter, only 64% of women could say the same. (And that still seems like an overestimate.) Emma Thompson’s latest role in Hulu’s Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, showcases the experience of those 36% women. Written by Katy Brand and directed by Sophie Hyde, this is a beautiful example of what women in film can do.
It also offers surprising tidbits that have little to do with the actual act of sex. Here are 9 lessons.
- Consent matters. Even though Thompson’s character, Nancy Stokes, hired a sex worker, Leo Grande (played by Daryl McCormack), that doesn’t mean either of them have unchecked power over the other. Leo is often heard asking for consent: “Can I take this off?” “Is this ok…?” And if Thompson says no, he doesn’t try to wear her down and turn it into a yes. She says no and that’s that. Similarly, when she crosses one of his boundaries, he lets her know. Using your voice is an often forgotten part of sex.
- Body positivity can be foreplay. What a sight to see a male lead in a film encouraging body positivity. While Thompson’s character is loathe to look at herself in the mirror — covering up her body, hunching her shoulders — Leo tells her: “Your body is beautiful. I wish you could see that.” Indeed, imagine if we all loved our bodies right now just as they are (and bonus to be with partners who affirmed this).
- There’s no shame in enjoying your body. “It’s not vain to enjoy your body, to love it,” Leo encourages her. In a world where we are sold an endless array of products marketed to ‘fix’ our bodies and faces, it’s easy to forget that it’s okay to enjoy our body and embrace what you see in the mirror exactly as it is.
- Age doesn’t matter. Nancy is doubtful that Leo could actually be attracted to her, a retired school teacher and mother. Women particularly seem to become invisible the older they get. But Leo responds genuinely: “There’s always something to enjoy; something to get attracted by.”
- Female pleasure isn’t a mystery. “I just make the effort and pay attention,” Leo states matter-of-factly.
- Guilt-free pleasure should be had by all. Earlier, Nancy reenacts what sex was like with her late husband —perfunctory and quick. In all of her years, she’d never had an orgasm. Oral sex, she was told, was degrading for both parties involved, so she stayed away from it. But after sessions with someone well educated about sex (Leo), she has a change of mind. “Pleasure is a wonderful thing, something all should have,” Nancy says later in the film.
- Sex work is not just about sex. It’s about intimacy, hand holding, and more. Everyone, as Leo explained to Nancy, wants something different. Sometimes people are lonely and just want company.
- Decriminalizing sex work could eradicate sex trafficking. The earliest record of prostitution as an occupation dates to 2400 BCE. It isn’t going anywhere. But making sex work between consensual adults legal can protect sex workers from exploitation, violence, and abuse.
- Sexual fulfillment is powerful. Thompson, a true international treasure, in her role as Nancy makes it palpable just how uncomfortable all of this is — hiring a young, fit, attractive sex worker, to help her experience joy and pleasure with sex — with her face and body language. And yet by the end, her standing in the mirror with that self assured smile says it all. She deserves the joy and pleasure of a natural human experience. She is powerful. She is beautiful.
